


OPEN MIC NIGHT

by itsrose



Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28329042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsrose/pseuds/itsrose
Summary: I don't know about this one guys.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	OPEN MIC NIGHT

**Author's Note:**

> Made with homestuck5.com.

SIXLET: haha hey everyone it’s me your favorite Troll from th Meteor!  
SIXLET: it’s me, Sixlet!  
SIXLEY: the Troll!  
JOHN: hurray!  
DAVE: yes this rules  
JADE HARLEY: weeeeeee im silly!!  
SIXLET: i’m canon!  
SIXLET: please thank you for letting  
SIXLET: i mean whoops hehe  
SIXLET: please thank you for coming t my stand up gig here at th show  
SIXLET: (i’m an aspiring comedian)  
SIXLET: (this is my friends supporting me)  
SIXLEY: And Let’s Get On With the Show! these are my jokes  
SIXLEY: i’m pretty nervous!! haha  
KARNT: OK LET’S GET ON WITH IT THEN I’M READY AND ANGRY  
SIXLEY: haha ok haha  
SIXLET: that’s my quick!!  
SIXLET: that’s my quirk!! fuck  
SIXLET: okay! what did the chricken cross th road!  
JOHN: what did it  
SIXLET: the other side!! haha  
JADE: o  
SIXLET: i tell you is  
SIXLET: i tell you  
SIXLET: i bett coming up with these jokes for a long time  
SIXLET: i know a joke or two  
SIXLET: you start thinking about jokes s much you start t IMAGINE them  
SIXLET: like theck this out out  
SIXLET: you know that tired old jokes about somebody guy’s being an asshole  
SIXLET: and his wife is like shit sfuck  
SIXHEL: he’s an asshole  
VRISKA: don’t we all know 8t!  
SIXHEL: yes aha she knows  
VREISA: 8  
SIXTET: so the wife is like how do i get them to stop being such an asshole  
SEXLET: i know  
SIXTEN: i will literally invent the monotheistic creation myth (giving up on the quirks now)  
SIXTEN: i will attempt to not only describe how everything came to exist  
SIXLET: but also 1. assign value to actions, objects, and places, 2. assert that that these values are tracked by a supreme ruler, one with consciousness, emotion, thought, and motive, as well as the power and ability to literally draw structure from void (an imagine a little green fort with beveled edges)  
SIXLET TROLLL: 3. judge you for being an asshole and punish you at infinite depths at all points in time forever  
SIXLET: ok i’m gonna tell him that now, she says, to no one, ok i’m gonna tell him now so he stops being an asshole  
SIXLET: that’s the joke, you’ve heard it  
SIXLET: ok so that’s fine because you’ve heard it  
SIXLET: but like, that joke is like,  
SIXLET: what if that joke was different  
SIXLET: what if a native american standup comic told that joke  
DAVE: what  
KARKAT: WHAT.  
SIXLET: haha yeah like what if the joke was  
SIXLET: native americans had all the europeans come over and they were like fuck dude  
SIXLET: italians and british people are assholes  
DAVE: oh my god stop  
SIXLET: and so they all hung out in the woods and they were like ok what should we do to get rid of them  
SIXLET: ok i got it  
SIXLET: do NOT mention jesus christ at all  
SIXLET: i mean, we all know about jesus and the monotheistic god, right, all us indians  
KARKAT: STOP.  
JOHN: um.  
SIXLET: so they’re like ok we need to come up with a new religion, i got it, let’s pretend we have all this animism stuff, and we’ve never heard of jesus, so they go away  
JADE: stop it stop stop stop it you have no idea what you’re talking about!!!!  
SIXLET: so they all do that but then they realize the kids are loudmouths and will still talk about jesus, who they still believe in, so they have to just completely stop mentioning it to anyone  
SIXLET: eventually after a couple generations native americans completely forget their devoted following of christ  
JADE: i HATE this!!  
SIXLET: and the new relgion is there for everyone  
KARKAT: STOP.  
SIXTET: so haha what would happen to that guy? would it be ok if a native guy said that joke?  
KARKAT: STOP THIS NOW. THIS DOESN’T EVEN TRACK.  
KARKAT: IT’S NOT A GOOD ANALOGY. IT’S NOT EVEN AN ANALOGY.  
SIXTET: no it’s good  
KARKAT: THIS IS A JOKE? THIS IS THE STANDUP SET YOU DRAGGED US ALL HERE, ALL THE CHARACTERS OF HOMESTUCK?  
KARKAT: DIRK ISN’T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE ON THE METEOR.  
DIRK: I’m Dirk.  
KARKAT: YOU HAD THIS SHITTY IDEA AND NEEDED TO TELL SOMEONE.  
SIXLET: no it’s good karkat the troll  
KARKAT: FUCK YOU. I’M ANGRY CHARACTER!!!  
KARKAT: YOU JUST HAD THIS SHITTY IDEA AND NEEDED TO CREATE SOME FRAMING DEVICE TO EXPRESS IT WITHOUT BEING OFFENSIVE.  
KARKAT: YOU AREN’T EVEN A REAL CHARACTER FROM THE COMIC.  
KARKAT: YOU’RE JUST A STAND-IN FOR ITSROSE YOU PIECE OF SHIT  
KARKAT: SHUT THIS DOWN. STOP.  
No!  
KARKAT: STOP THIS STOP STOP STOP.  
No way, this rules.  
DAVE: dude sixlet is the worst fantroll yet  
DAVE: they smell like moldy bread  
DAVE: no elaborate description here  
DAVE: just shitty bread  
KARKAT: ALL RIGHT EVERYONE WE’RE LEAVING  
You can’t go! I have a few more good ideas.  
KARKAT: NO THIS IS IT THIS IS THE END OF THE LINE WE’RE CLOSING UP SHOP TUT TUT COME ON LET’S GO.  
KARKAT: THIS STORY IS WRITTEN BY ROSELALONDE AT GMAIL DOT GOM AND DOES NOT REFLECT US IDEAS CHARACTERS  


Fine but whatever. What are you going to do, lynch me for my terrible idea? Huh? You going to come find me? Give it a shot.  


I DATE YOU  


I DARE YOU  


**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY APRIL 13, 2009 EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
